Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his phone book and it reads "My mobile no has changed. Earlier, it was Nokia 3310...now it is 6610."
Ah Beng : I am very proud. My son is in Medical College.
Friend : Oh really. Congratulations. What is he studying?
Ah Beng : He is not studying, they are studying him.
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football everynight.
Doctor : It's not serious. Take this tablet and you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take it tomorrow? Today is the finals.
Ah Beng : If I die, will you remarry?
Wife : No. I will stay with my sister....but if I die, would you remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I will also stay with your sister.
Ah Beng : Seng, people consider me as "GOD".
Ah Seng : Oh really, why is that?
Ah Beng : I went to the park again this evening, everybody said "Oh my God....You Again??!"
Ah Beng complained to the police, "All items in my house is missing, except for my TV." The police said "How can that be?" Ah Beng replied "I was watching news on TV."
How do you reconize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases all the notes from his book, when the teacher erases the board.
Once, Ah Beng had a glove on one hand and not the other. So, a man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand, it would be hot.
Ah Beng : Go and water the plants!!
Servant : But it is raining.
Ah Beng : So what?? Take an umbrella and go!!
A friend asked Ah Beng, why Pak Lah (Ahmad Badawi) goes jogging in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied "Becoz Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM....haih!!"