Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Man rules..

More often than not, we'll hear some saying "Here are womens' rules" have to follow and be sensitive to those rules, else kena pukul lar, what else??? Now, I came across this mail last week given by my colleague. This is to share with you ladies on these simple "Man" rules that you really should take special care and attention to. Some may have read this somewhere else, but this post serves as a gentle reminder. Here goes :-

The Simple Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note......these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both . If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, golf and PS3.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Cham lor....tonight sure kena cubit blue-black one....hehehehehe


Ai-Ling said...

hmmm, guarantee kena cubit by rach...

Linora 'Aronil' Low said...

lol did you get this from an email? or u made the list up?

Kellaw said...

nvm la. at least you will enjoy "camping"


Starbucks is the dope said...

Let's not set so much rules in this game of hate and love okay.

Calvin Soo KJ said...

ai-ling, yalor......hehehehe

linora, i dont have much time sorting all these out. i got it from a mail. :)

kellaw, my mrs not like that one. if i have to camp, we camp together. :P

starbucks, it's a fun list. i dont practice any of em. besides, we tolerate each others rants

Lisalicious said...

calvin!!! why are you so bad oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

did your other half cubit you for all those in the list you practiced??? huh??

Josephine said...

Rachel, if u r reading this. Pls cubit one more on behalf of me...

:P sorry Calvin.

I guess if ur wife is happy, u will be happy too.

suituapui said...

Yes, the MAN must have the last word - "Yes, darling!" Hahahahaha!!!!

Calvin Soo KJ said...

lisa, we main cubit-cubit to stir up our sex life....hahahahaha. i dont practice any of em. i always believe, we have to tolerate each other, else, why marry..... :)

jo, we are very the moment...hehehehe. sei lor, if my whole body blue-black, have to take mc

stp, your wife is calling you to wash the clothes liao....hahahaha. err, YES DEAR!! comingggggg!!!!

Jasonmumbles said...


Agree agree.

lcfu said...

its finally our world now!!!

Allison said...

haha..1st time dropping by.. anyway can't agree on all of it.. girls had their reasons for asking some stupid obvious questions sometimes :p

Anonymous said...

Yuuuhoooo braderrrrr I am back. Did you go bancrupt giving angpow during CNY? I know I'm totally broke now. I'm in a very cham condition at the moment. Remember, I'm open for donations. LOL...

*groan* You know... I think you are a masochist. I think you actually enjoyed being rotan and cubit by Rachel. *rawl* let him have it girl! LMAO.

eugene said...

Never mind la, sometimes girl calling us man stupid vice versa lah, we will keep learning

Kellaw said...

yahor. calvin mana angpau?

JYSim said...

Hey Calvin! Happy CNY.
Thanks for your comments on my blog, back in November last year, sorry for taking so long in returning a thanks.

amoker said...

Sure you like campings? hehe

Kikey Loo said...

wow.. i learn more abt man now.. :)

Chris said...

haha... learning from the articles...

Jeanne M. Wigoena said...

I'll remember that..
everything is no. 1 ya.. haha

hello, nice blog (^^,)*

Anonymous said...

haha...take it easy on the fairer sex bro, else have to sleep outside.

Pete said...

ha ha, that is why married life is so interesting! Ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Of course married life is interesting Pete... can never compare with those single ones... LOL....full of adventure...err... misadventure. LMAO.

Calvin Soo KJ said...

jason, *hi five*

lcfu, it's war man...hehehehe

allison, reasons for asking stupid questions. ??? that's why we men can go

clef, i have a sudden urge for sm...hehehehe

amoker, sure. why not?? hehehe

eugene, they can call us stupid, we can only call them unwise.....mana boleh lar....unfair... :)

kellaw, you desperate for money ka??? hahahaha

jysim, no prob. visit often ya.

kikey, there are a lot more. but decided only to post the important ones. but then again, arent all important. :P

chris, tell your woman this. hopefully you dont get a kick in the butt....heheheh

jeanne, thanks. drop by soon :)

chrisau, the house is mine. she has to sleep out, not me....hehehehe

pete, hahahaha. ya.

clef, summore sex is free....muahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

omg, u sm kaki... LMAO... very syiok ah? LMAO...

Calvin Soo KJ said...

clef, have not tried it yet. wanna join?? lmao

Miss Zane said...

I've just moved postings on my former blog to the current one, and I bumped in to this.. ahaha I knew I have it since long time a go

Cheers ^^