Friday, September 5, 2008

Who says "malang tidak berbau"....damn busuk man!!!

This morning was particularly special. I woke up feeling on top of the world. Maybe, its because I dreamt of winning a lottery last nite...RM3million man!!! or maybe because my wife if ok now...i can sleep well.....or maybe its just dejavu.
I happily packed my presentation stuff from the bank and headed to Gebeng Industrial Estate to meet a potential client. The meeting was about 2 hours and was successful....thank God. The lady I met with was a gorgeous MILF....yes a MILF!!! A divorcee with 3 kids. An Executive Director in the oil & gas industry. I was stunned. Practically stunned with her beauty. I think she's in her early 40s. She came complete with the whole package....*drools*. Wait ah...let me wipe off my saliva 1st... Ahem...ok. Drives a BMW 7 series and is currently staying in one of Kuantan's high end residential area. Now guys, answer this question. If a gorgeous lady is sitting right in front of you, with a body of a goddess, a smile that could melt you like butter in the oven, clothed in branded goods with a shirt that has 2 opened buttons right to the cleavage (can see longkang ok!!!) and a see thru......what would you do? Tell me...tell me. Any ordinary man would without a doubt once in a while try to peek thru whats in store. I repeat, ONCE IN A WHILE. Not the whole time. Wei....come on, I'm a professional ok?
Ok, let's cut to the chase. I DID stare at her boobs, and she did notice. And to top it up, she didnt mind a bit. I think she did it on purpose lah!!! But anyways, I did my presentation, Q&A and all those stuff.....and she liked it. Damn, i'm good *sniff*. I closed a luxurious deal and headed for the office. As i was passing thru Jalan Air Putih, there was quite a heavy traffic, with the sembahyang jumaat thingy and students coming off from school. A new Honda Accord in front of suddenly braked because of a stupid red Kancil wanted to take a right turn, no signals or indication. That damn car's brake lights didnt even ignite. So I braked.....and all of a sudden, I heard a screech and then a bang on my car's bumper. BANG !!!! Sei Lor....I turned around and saw 2 malay chaps on a bike. So, I stared at them and pointed them to go to the side. As i got down from the car and headed to the back, I saw one of the guy has a cut right under his chin.
So I asked....
Me : Hello brader. Macam mane ni. You langgar kereta saya.
Malay guy : You tiba-tiba brek, aku tak sempat nak elak lah.
Me : Habis tu....kenapa you ikut I dekat sangat. Aku dengar tadi you breng, breng laju giler.
Malay guy : Aku pun tak sengaja bang (at that time I saw the cut under his chin started to bleed).
Me : So, macam mane. You nak ganti ke?
Malay guy : Macam mane saya nak ganti bang. I student lagi, kat Politeknik. Mudguard motor i pun dah pecah. Body pun dah retak.
(then I went to the car to inspect the damage)
Me : Ni kalau nak ganti, bapak nye mahal! Kurang-kurang pun RM300. You nak repot polis ke tak? Kalau repot, nko yang salah. Nko langgar bontot aku. Kena denda you kena bayar.
Malay guy : Tak yah repot lah bang. Aku nak gi sembahyang ni. Aku takde duit ni bang. (then opening up his wallet i saw there's only RM50)
Me : So? Cam ner......sigh....(after a short pause). Gini lah. I tak suka buat hal. Kiter settle sini je. Kiter salam, lepas tu blah. You ok?
Malay guy : Ok lah brader.
Me : You ok tak? Boleh jalan ke? Pening tak?
Malay guy : Tak I ok.
(dont know why i have compassion for that guy, maybe its because of the Puasa month. I handed over RM20 to him for his stitches, shaked hands and went off).
Before the accident, I was happily tapping my fingers to the music. Right after the accident, I was still tapping my fingers listening to Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love. What a coincidence. I was wondering if this is a way God is telling me not to fantasize about the MILF :P "BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE AND STOP FANTASIZING OF OTHER PEOPLES MOTHERS !!!" A loud voice came into my mind.....Gotto go home and confess my sins....hehehe

There's a dent on the back bonnet and notice the crack beside my car no plate.

Huge scratch marks on my car going down the drain again.


Pete said...

Bro, sorry to hear about the accident. Aiyo, I never meet this lady when I was in Oil & Gas lorrr!

Calvin Soo KJ said...

bro, still got the chills from meeting till now. this milf got some charm on me i guess....hehehe.

Josephine said...

Aiyak, first time here, so sorry to hear about the accident. Were you thinking about the lady while you were driving? Be extra careful next time, especially after meeting 'leng' auntie.

k.t.x said...

this is something which really sucks right? too bad, but it's something cosmetic althought still heartbroken nontheless. nevermind la, as long as no one's hurt.

juz imagine what would it b, if u hv gotten the MILF number huh?? hehe. Clef, font look at us liddat ok?

Chris said...

Haha.. i know it's very difficult to avoid the seduction from such a so called "devil woman", i think it's normal reaction to stay at her boobs. :p
But anyway, thank god is no injury to person. Juz a small scratch.

Anonymous said...

Calvin...wud is MILF arr? *blush* Now it's my turn to ask about these abbreviation.

Hmmm... I dunno whether i should kesian you or wud...maybe it's balasan lah. time, stare at other people's boob summore...itulah... balasan. It must be god's way of telling you not to fantasize about MILF...whatever MILF means. LMAO.


Anonymous said...

this is the definition of MILF

anyway, u r very kind to give that guys $20, if is me, i will just send him to clinic and let him pay for the medical cost himself since it is actually his own fault where he drive dangerously.

by the way, becareful with this kind of lady, u might get into trouble if she want u.
it will be more worse than kena liwat if a rich MILF wan u, hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Geez...thanks for the explanation. i was so damn lazy to go and look it up. All i know is MILF is widely used in porn sites. =.=!

Dun just be careful of 'this kind of ladies'. Age is no barrier when a bitch is in heat. Argh, fuck it la.... god damned those bitches to hell!

ktx arrr... men will always be men... *roll eyes* it doesn't matter if they are married with a dozen children or not...THEY ARE STILL the speciesl with a banana between their legs. *sigh*

Amjan said...

Lu punya kereta apa nombor....gua mau angkat itu loteli lor....

Malaysian Joe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Malaysian Joe said...

ooops.. read wrongly.. i thought u kissed a MILF's bontot.. LOL..

well, from time to time you meet someone that drives your testosterone to high levels... and you must be thinking of her so much that you kissed another car's bontot... sigh.. its one of those days huh?