Monday, August 11, 2008

Nursery rhymes we never had when we were kids...

Just got this from a colleague of mine. Please don't teach these to your children at home...lol

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two slices of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man, 'What have you got there?'
Said the Pie man unto Simon, 'Pies, you Dumb Ass'

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

13 comments:

cleffairy said...

Whahahahaha....my god, Calvin... this is definitely one nursery rhyme that I wun teach my kids. This is a good one, got me laugjhing! But then again, i think kids these days would make up things that's worst than these. After all, kids these days are more well informed than us.

Roses said...

i will shoot my future kids deaf before they can hear this.
-_-
provoking yet funny...hahahah

Pete said...

Waka kakaka ka!. This is a good one!

Pete said...

Wah, rose our comments came in at the same timelah! What a good timing!

Roses said...

what a coincidence..lol

cleffairy said...

calvin, how is bigdaddy? Haven't heard from him or see him update for some time. How did he do in his exam?

Calvin Soo KJ said...

clef : he's very busy lately. havent got time for lunch as well. i guess he failed again in his exam...lol. damn tough!!

roses & pete : glad you liked it. got tonnes more coming.....lol

cleffairy said...

eh, don't say fail la, he's so pity if he need to repeat it again. Please tell him to take care and all the best from me. i do hope he pass.
:-(

Ratu Syura said...

hahahahaha!! that was hilarious! i wonder what kinda parents would actually teach those to their kids! thanks for the laughs! LOL!

garfield said...

there is actually lots of these offensive rhymes made by children themselves
:)
i've been heard a lot when i was a teacher last time.

kids nowadays are damn creative and they are also damn dirty minded now
:)

Calvin Soo KJ said...

clef : this is his 2nd sitting. got to take a a 3rd....lol. but really, the paper is damn tough. i sat it before failed the 1st and passed the 2nd.

ratu : thanks for dropping by. glad you liked it. there's tonnes more where that came from. i'll update the rhymes once a week. you're most welcome here. cheers...

garfield : yeah!! children nowadays catch things faster than us. my niece, who is now only 4, can memorise kung fu pandas dialogue from the start. although not very accurate, but she's good. not like me during my younger days....very goblok...lol

zarni said...

dude...... how is your a*s? getting better?

Malaysian Joe said...

aiyo.... i laff so hard... wanna cry liao... err... georgie porgy.... his ass hurt too?