Thursday, June 19, 2008

Kuo Tai Lai....



Getting married the traditional Chinese way is most time consuming and money taxing scheme generated by our ancestors. "Kuo Tai Lai" or in my definition "Waste Money Day" was done yesterday, back in Rachel's hometown, Kemaman.
*
"Kuo Tai Lai" to do list :-
1. Negotiation on the dowry was done months back by my mum and my future in laws. In my case, RM3K. I know, i know.....you would say "Wah!!! So little ah." I was informed that the "normal" dowry requirement is about RM5K.....Hello, my friend. RM3K or RM5K is also money mah!! My very understanding mother in law said "Lei chung yi lar...Ngo emhai oi mai lui" which translates to "You suka lar....I am not here to sell my daughter mah." Thanks mum....loves you lots xoxoxo.
*
2. Traditionally, the Chinese tradition also requires a roasted suckling pig. My mother in law requires 25kg of the little sucker and guess what did it cost? RM1K !!!! wtf....RM1K for that little-brown-roasted-thingy-with-fats-that can cause you high cholesterol-suckling pig. What happened to "you love my daughter, she loves you back, get married happily ever after...amen."
And this was supposed to bring you lots of luck and prosperity.....wth
*
3. Next is 2 bottles of liquor. This I don't mind 'cause my in laws do not drink. I'll end up drinking all of it...till the last drop :) Notice that almost all the stuff I bought must come in pairs...husband and wife, fags and coffee, sex and condom (get it!)
*
4. Wedding cakes are also a neccessity. The ones that you will receive with the red box and 4 fat wedding cakes accompanied in it. Those suckers cost RM4.80 per box. I have to include 50 boxes of those, supposedly meant to be given to relatives and close friends as a gesture of goodwill....
*
5. Oranges or fruit basket to be lastly included in the list b'cause my mom in law said that 4 items are no good....as the number 4 represents death. Superstition still exists in our modern world. With all the technologies and IT advances, people still actually believe that 4 brings you bad luck.....wth
*
And with all these items, I travelled back and forth in Kemaman thru every nook and corner delivering the "good luck" babi and cakes. It took us (me, Rach and her mom) almost a whole day.
*
Since Rach did not invite her former Muslim colleagues for our wedding this 28, we decided to buy them pizzas. So we bought those and headed to Public Bank, Kemaman. Celakak....those idiots said "Mana cukup!!! Aku sorang dah boleh makan sekotak!!". wth.....go and eat the boxes as well lar !!! Bargers !!!
*
Enuff bout those bargers. We had dinner at River Bend Restaurant at nite with my in laws and 3 of her younger cousins. Didn't thought of getting photos of those...i'm not into camwhoring. Later at night, Rach went to her hair dressers home to test crumpling and jellying her hair for our big day. I, on the underhand went to visit Ol' Kemaman branch. Met Shahrir and Nor...two of my best buds in Kemaman. Wonder when'll Shahrir get married...or not!!! Whatever it is, he is a too kind hearted, soft spoken and a good samaritan bloke. Notice, I've added to word "too". Yup, he's the kinda guy that everyone made use of, especially the bosses. My bottomless pity for him.
*
In conclusion...I would like to quote an idol of mine, Mr Patrick Teoh..(pls don't sue me for using your signature...on my knees :P Will try to get a signature quote of my own).
*
"NIAMAH !!!!"
*
Joke of the day :-
A couple of buddies, decide to play together for the first time. Mac is an avid golfer and Jimmy is new to the game. On the way to the course, Mac asks "By the way, what's your handicap?" Jimmy replies,"I don't have one..it's more like a permanent disability".

2 comments:

zarni said...

Dude, i would suggest you follow red indian's wedding style. Just a few puff of american red tobaccos pipe and a little bit hu hoh around some bush... then it's all yours!!!!

CalvinSKJ said...

Good suggestion....you go try 1st.