Sardar Jee......

Jokes from Sardar Jee.....
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Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India.
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Sardar Jee was fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
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Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know starts with petrol.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. The Boss was happy and asked what he did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order sir, so I made it sequencely..
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Museum Administrator: U stupid..That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken!!
Sardar: Thanks God!!! I thought it was a new one....
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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God!! I have lost my hand, oh!!
Sardar: Control yourself sir.....Don't cry....See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
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Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ""All India Radio! """
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In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....Dhhuuuurrrrrrrr......
Inteviewer Shouts: Stop it !!!!!
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrr.. dhup dhup dhup dhup...... Stopped already sir.
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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child .

The future of men's underwear....18SX

The future is full of doubts and uncertainties, we never know what'll happen to us, neither do we know for sure if we are still alive. Two things that I know for sure, is that BN will still be governing over us....and don't ever dream of getting a result like the US..........and technology will never stop booming. Humans never stopped developing new gadgets and stuff and likewise, the fashion sense is getting more and more sluggish and unbearable.

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For instance, would you want to be boxed up in dress like this whilst shopping in KLCC?

or, would you go out looking like a zombie, with extra food stuck on both your shoulders?



or looking like a psychedelic, souped up in some oversized ball of ribbon?

and these are some of the men's underwear by year 2020.......proceed with caution though. Some may get aroused by the pictures..... :P

I call this "Tak Cukup Kain" underwear......

Jockstrap underwear

"See...I'm huge" underwear

The Zebra

the "Easy To Take A Dump" underwear....

the "Watch my butt" underwear....

the more provocative type "Here's my dick" underwear......

No you can't find these in any local stores yet.....nope, not in Carrefour or Tesco....wha..what??? Nope, not in Giant. Definitely not in Parkson. Got ideas already. Wanna have it in Batik stripes. Great!!! Now go find me one...

Some humor to brighten up your day :)

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at thefront door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome! But the third child was dull, ugly and backward.One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine?" "Yes, dear" replied the wife, "But the other two are not."

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When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities :-

She is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order :-

She is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the livingroom and an economist in bed.

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been."

I told her, "How about the kitchen?"....and I got a tight slap.

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During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn t talk for the entire hour?"

The hubby replied, "Yes honey. That was the happiest hour of my life."

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

The wedding test....a must see if you're planning to get married

This is for all you dudes and dudettes who are planning to get married this year......

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Mr X was a very happy and faithful person. He has been dating his wonderful girlfriend for over a year and decided to get married.

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There was only one little thing bothering him...It was his girlfriends's beautiful younger sister. She was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less for most of the time. She would regularly bend down when she was near Mr X, and he always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

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One day her "little" sister called and asked Mr X to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was all alone when he arrived, and she whispered to him that she had feelings and sexual fantasies that she couldn't overcome. She told Mr X that she wanted him just once before he got married and committed his life to her sister.

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Well, Mr X was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." Mr X was stunned and frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs.

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He stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. He opened the door and headed straight towards his car. Lo and behold, his entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his future father-in-law's eyes, he hugged Mr X and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

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The Moral of the Story

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ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN YOUR CAR!!!

New sports rim and foodie galore

My 2 year old Iswara was calling out to me.......buy me 2 pairs of new slippers!!!! And I gave in. Last Monday, I took the opportunity to visit the tyre shop adjacent to my house, only to do some alignment and balancing on my car tyres (they're original ones btw). As I was wondering around the shop, just glancing thru the array of sports rims sold there, this particular black red 15"one was the one standing out. And so, I called the owner over just to check out the price, not knowing that I was jinxed into buying one. He calculated and calculated and alas gave me a price. RM1,100-00 plus 4 new Dunlop tyres 195/60 for comfort. The price includes balancing and alignment. Without even thinking twice, I said "Sitou!!! Kasi tukar sama dia!!" And lo and behold, my gorgeous sports rim. The black colour rims compliments my black car body. And since its black, I would be able to save time by not washing them often....hehehehe.

.......and these simple but delicious dishes were made by Rachel on Chap Goh Mei dinner

This should be the 4 Vege Kings but we managed to get hold of only 3 vege.

Mixed vege and meat wrapped in fu-chuk

le originale chicken

Ikan Bawal Emas with sambal masam manis.....nyonya style

.....and to smoothen the flow of meat down the throat, there must be Herbal Chicken Soup

and oh......these, we had over at East Grill Restaurant, Kuantan


Chicken salad

Cream of brocolli which comes with adorable buns.....didnt have the chance to snap at them coz I've gobbled em down.

Mum's helping......Chicken something.

Rachel had this, Chicken and Lamb Steak

......and this was mine, 10 ounce Sirloin Steak made to perfection.

Baba and Nyonya heritage dying?? Part 1

Many might be asking, what's Baba and Nyonya or some might call it Peranakan. To learn more about the heritage you can google it here.

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Today's post is to learn about the language. Being a half breed baba has its pros and cons. Firstly, being a Baba, I've mastered the Malay language. How?? Coz I converse in our traditional language at home most of the time. Many of my friends gave me a puzzled look whenever they are around, and by the smirky look on their faces, I can tell they're contemplating whether my mom was stabbing behind their back or otherwise. The bad news is, since my father passed on, I hardly spent time with my father's side of the family, hence the broken Chinese language. But of course, we always learn the foul language first. That.....I've mastered since childhood. Hey...it's really not a bad thing. You're still learning the language what???

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Anyways, the Baba and Nyonya language is a combination of the Malay language as well as a hint of Hokkien. For example, if you want to say you want to go somewhere...say to the market, you'd have to say

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"Gua mo pegi pa-sey" = I want to go to the market

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The usual words that we would use are these examples :-

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1. Gua = I

2. Lu = You

3. Mo = Want / Mahu

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Other words are kinda like the Malay language. Here are some examples....

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"Tolong ambik tok-poh" = Please hand me the cloth.

"Gua mo naik lo-teng" = I'm going upstairs

"Gua mo pi buang air kechik" = I'm going to pee

"Mok-sia-neo tu mo apa?" = What's that freak want??

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What's so special about the language? There's nothing really much to brag about it, but the language is fading away. Why? The modern Baba and Nyonya, do not use the language to communicate any more. It's kinda sad, really. Gone are the days where you see young Nyonya girls wearing Kebaya walking around town except for some festivals. Some may say.....either she's mad or she has lack sense of style. Today's style is all about Louis Vuitton, Coach, Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein. It is difficult to spot a full bred Baba and Nyonya in town, even in Melaka. They are around of course, but difficult. Some may not even claim to be one.

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This post may not be complete coz it's difficult to teach the language without conversing in one. You may want to post some comments/questions on specific sentences, and I'll be more than happy to assist you.

Male compassion

Gina returned from a doctor's visit one day and told her husband Pat that the doctor said she only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, she asked him to make love to her.

Of course he agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later Gina went to him again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Pat agreed and again they made love.

Later Gina was getting into bed when she realized she now had only eight hours of life left. she touched Pat's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please....just one more time before I die." He agreed, then afterward he rolled over and fell asleep.

Gina, however, heard the clock ticking in her head, and she tossed and turned until she was down to only four more hours. She tapped her husband on the shoulder to wake him up.

"Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"

Her husband sat up abruptly, turned to her and said, "Listen Gina, I'm not being funny but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."

The Man rules..

More often than not, we'll hear some saying "Here are womens' rules".....men have to follow and be sensitive to those rules, else kena pukul lar, what else??? Now, I came across this mail last week given by my colleague. This is to share with you ladies on these simple "Man" rules that you really should take special care and attention to. Some may have read this somewhere else, but this post serves as a gentle reminder. Here goes :-

The Simple Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note......these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both . If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, golf and PS3.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Cham lor....tonight sure kena cubit blue-black one....hehehehehe

Methods to commit suicide

There are many methods to kill yourself. There's always "The Gun" where you can splatter your brains out and your poor mrs had to clean up the room right after that. Then there's "The Knife" where you'll have to stab yourself a couple of times, enduring excruciating pain only to know that you didn't die the next day and you get arrested by the police, or you can hang yourself.

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Men had gone a long way since the dinasaurs and technology had vastly improved since then.....or should I say, it made us more lazy. Anyways, whenever you attend a course for self improvement, you'll surely have noticed that the speaker would sometimes say words like "Think Out Of The Box". Now, thinking out of the box does not only cater to your life and work, it could also be used for committing suicide.

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Yup folks..........you have to think of various ways to commit suicide. Gone are the days where you have to find a high tower to jump from. What happens if you come from a small kampung with no complex to jump from??? You can't even buy a gun from your backyard like the Americans do, much thanks to our splendid government. Okay....these are some of the methods to improve your suicide tendencies....

How to pose for your blog, facebook, friendster...etc

....got up early this morning and went thru my mail. I received this hilarious mail and it got me laughing hysterically till now. To these beautiful girls who got tagged with the following pictures, this was not my doing... :P

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Now, most of us are fond of camwhoring and taking self potraits, particularly with handphones only to be posted into your facebook, friendster, blogs profile and so forth. Be careful the next time you pose, coz your pictures might end up like these pretty girls.

You dig the resemblance.....muahahahaha. If you wanna follow the footsteps of our forefathers, this ain't it.

note : all pictures were not photoshopped...hehehehe