Blog Revival!!!

So, its decided that my blog be revived to its former glory. I've been receiving many comments through my emails and FB messages on what the heck happened to this Ah Beng these past few months. Some made assumptions that I am dead, some thought I've changed sex, some said I've lost my way around the world and some still communicates with me through Facebook.

So, let me start the ball rolling by posting this "true" letter to all my beloved blogger buddies. Enjoy :)

ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA .
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL REPLY IN PUNJABI ENGLISH


Madam :

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely and easily.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my balls because they bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy and I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking cigarettes or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hands.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,------------------
born by mother in Okara
and become big in Lahore ,
Punjab

Baba and Nyonya heritage dying?? Part 1

Many might be asking, what's Baba and Nyonya or some might call it Peranakan. To learn more about the heritage you can google it here.

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Today's post is to learn about the language. Being a half breed baba has its pros and cons. Firstly, being a Baba, I've mastered the Malay language. How?? Coz I converse in our traditional language at home most of the time. Many of my friends gave me a puzzled look whenever they are around, and by the smirky look on their faces, I can tell they're contemplating whether my mom was stabbing behind their back or otherwise. The bad news is, since my father passed on, I hardly spent time with my father's side of the family, hence the broken Chinese language. But of course, we always learn the foul language first. That.....I've mastered since childhood. Hey...it's really not a bad thing. You're still learning the language what???

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Anyways, the Baba and Nyonya language is a combination of the Malay language as well as a hint of Hokkien. For example, if you want to say you want to go somewhere...say to the market, you'd have to say

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"Gua mo pegi pa-sey" = I want to go to the market

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The usual words that we would use are these examples :-

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1. Gua = I

2. Lu = You

3. Mo = Want / Mahu

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Other words are kinda like the Malay language. Here are some examples....

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"Tolong ambik tok-poh" = Please hand me the cloth.

"Gua mo naik lo-teng" = I'm going upstairs

"Gua mo pi buang air kechik" = I'm going to pee

"Mok-sia-neo tu mo apa?" = What's that freak want??

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What's so special about the language? There's nothing really much to brag about it, but the language is fading away. Why? The modern Baba and Nyonya, do not use the language to communicate any more. It's kinda sad, really. Gone are the days where you see young Nyonya girls wearing Kebaya walking around town except for some festivals. Some may say.....either she's mad or she has lack sense of style. Today's style is all about Louis Vuitton, Coach, Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein. It is difficult to spot a full bred Baba and Nyonya in town, even in Melaka. They are around of course, but difficult. Some may not even claim to be one.

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This post may not be complete coz it's difficult to teach the language without conversing in one. You may want to post some comments/questions on specific sentences, and I'll be more than happy to assist you.