Jokes....and summore jokes 18SX

It's Monday.....and I'm hating it. But just to make my day better, here are some jokes to share :-

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies.

"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins."

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How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

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A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

Blog Revival!!!

So, its decided that my blog be revived to its former glory. I've been receiving many comments through my emails and FB messages on what the heck happened to this Ah Beng these past few months. Some made assumptions that I am dead, some thought I've changed sex, some said I've lost my way around the world and some still communicates with me through Facebook.

So, let me start the ball rolling by posting this "true" letter to all my beloved blogger buddies. Enjoy :)

ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA .
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL REPLY IN PUNJABI ENGLISH


Madam :

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely and easily.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my balls because they bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy and I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking cigarettes or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hands.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,------------------
born by mother in Okara
and become big in Lahore ,
Punjab

Questions & Answers!!

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'SUCK HERE'.

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

BONUS QUESTION & ANSWER:
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

(Nominated as the world's best short joke)
3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.

No more headaches.....

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."


"No more headaches?" the husband asks,
''What happened?"


His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.."

It Worked! The headaches are all gone."


The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."


His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.


He puts her on the bed and says,

"Don't move, I'll be right back."


He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.


His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"


The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom,
comes back and round two was even better than The First time.


The wife sits up and her head is spinning.


Her husband again says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife..."

His funeral service will be held on Friday.

A.A.A.D.D......A new disease??

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

On the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox

When I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,

And see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

So I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,

But first I need to push the Coke aside

So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,

And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

A vase of flowers on the counter

Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and

Discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it,

But first I'll check my e-mail........

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

The real dick-tionary.....

It is time now class to learn the actual meaning of some really confusing English words. Let us now begin..............

Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper, with fire at one end and a fool at the other

Marriage - It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree while a woman gains her Master

Lecture - An art of transmitting information from notes of students without passing thru the minds of either

Conference - A confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he/she has got the biggest piece

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary - Its a place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference room - Its a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic - A book which people praise, but never read

Smile - A curve that could set a lot of things straight

Office - A place where you can rest and relax after having a strenuous home life

Yawn - The only time where some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc.. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience - The name men give to their mistakes

Atom bomb - An invention to bring an end to all inventions

Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!!"

Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the 1st letter in

OPPORTUNITY

Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father - A banker provided by nature

Criminal - A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

Boss - Someone who is early when you're late, and late when you're early

Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later

Doctor - A person who kills your ills, and kills you by your bills

One of the best lawyer jokes of all time

The Salvation Army realised that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a Salvation Army volunteer made an appointment to see the lawyer in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a cent to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the Salvation Army?"

The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the Salvation Army volunteer mumbled, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind, confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken volunteer began to stammer an apology, but was cut off again.

"Thirdly, "the lawyer said, "did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and the burden of supporting three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

Completely beaten, the humiliated Salvation Army volunteer said, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

And then the lawyer said, "So, if I don't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"

A Godly humour...

This is a good one. Some of you may have heard this, but Id still want to share it with you guys :)

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..

"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear police sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "A senator?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "The Prime Minister?"
Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "His chauffeur is the Pope!"

Typo errors.....can be very dangerous!!

A daughter sent a telegram to her father on passing her B.Ed exams, which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here."
The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her.."

A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake.He thought for a moment and said, put "Getting older but you are getting better".
The salesman asked "How do you want me to put it?"
The man said 'Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "But you are getting better" at the bottom."
When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake.
It reads "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"

So.....the moral of these stories are :-

1. Double proof read everything before you send.

2. Don't trust others to write it right for you.

3. Don't order cakes by telephone.

When a woman gets angry.........

Some of you might have seen this circulating thru your daily mails, and some might not. My mrs forwarded this to me, I guess she was giving me the heads up.....lolz. Guys, be extra vigilant and careful when you cheat behind your better half or girlfiends. You wouldn't want this to happen to you :)

Is there such a thing like a "Good Lawyer"

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?'

'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat grass.'

'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said.

'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'.'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.'The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!' 'Bring them all, as well, 'the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'

The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!'

Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers.

Emergency Leave

"Boss,..saya nak mintak emergency leave boss......betul Boss, saya serious nih......Saya tak tipu Boss.......saya terpaksa ambik emergency leave nih..........Betul tak tipu ni boss. Bukan anak sakit Boss.........Tak, bukan isteri saya sakit perut Boss.......Gambarnya pun saya hantar sekali masuk MMS nih Boss...tolonglah boss, betul Boss.......saya tak tipu Boss....... sungguh....... Tengoklah gambar nih bosss..."

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Laughter's the best medicine

When you're down and out, and there's no one around to hug....except for that fat and ugly pervert sitting in front of you all day long....spend sometime reading this and I hope it'll cheer you up a lil. :)

1. Losing all your friends 

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him. 

Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.' 

2. Brother wanted 

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, 'Santa, please send me a brother'.... 

Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER....' 

3. Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime!' 

Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

4. Importance of a period

Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?' 

Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

5. Confident vs. confidential

A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?' 

Dad says, 'You are my son. I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, he's also my son, now that's confidential! '

6. Anger management?

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?' 

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.' 

Husband: 'How does that help?' 

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ..'

Second Opinion is always best

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

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Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

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As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

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He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

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He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see.... size 44 long.'

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Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

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Joe tried on the suit and it fit perfectly.

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As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

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The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
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Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.'
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Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

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Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
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The salesman said, 'Let's see.... size 36.'

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Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old..'
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The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

Typical Malaysian

Mahmud grew up in Kota Baru, a town located on the East Coast of Malaysia, and then moved away to Kuala Lumpur to do his law degree in order to fill up theBumiputera quota. He decided to come back to Kota Baru, because he could be abig man and really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new office.

The first day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Mahmud picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in Kuala Lumpur that I won't settle this case for less than one million ringgit......Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the State Prosecutor that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

This sort of conversation went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Mahmud rattled instructions. Finally, Abdul puts down thephone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from Telekom, I've come to connect your line".

Newspaper headline from The Dublin Times

This is an excerpt from an article which appeared in The Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.  

Once  inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat.'

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened..

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered little bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:




'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'....

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I think I'm going to vomit....uearkkkk!!!!!

A Virgin!!!

In the Prison ...


Four convicts were eating in the chow hall one day.

One says, "You guys mind if I fart?"

"No." "Pfffffffffffffff"

A second guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"

"No." "Pffffffffffffff"

A third guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"

"No." "Pffffffffffffff"

The fourth guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"

"No." "BRRRRRAAAAAPPP!!

The other three guys look astonished.

"Wow!! A virgin!!"

IKEA to take over GM

Business Update :
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Just Announced - IKEA to take over GM
IKEA HAS ANNOUNCED IT'S INTENTION TO TAKE OVER GM and TO SELL CARS. In that case, WE WILL BE IN DEEP SHIT.......................

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ALL THEY GIVE YOU IS THIS

AND YOU HAVE TO COMPLETE THIS.......

SEI MOU!!!

Potong Zakar.....yeowww!!!

It's TGIF y'all.....yuuhoo!!!. What's better than to share a joke with my fellow bloggers. I know that this was circulated thru emails for some time now, but reading it again always makes me laugh till my stomach hurts. Cheers and have a yeahooo!!! weekend :)

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Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

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Apek : Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali : Manyak bagus woh. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aah... dia punya performance tadak bagut... manyak cinang semputloh...tadak power wor...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong. tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: err.... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: Woi apek. Lu cakap baik-baik sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main-main haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..

Ali: Celaka punya apek...nah tengok (opens his trousers).

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik-baik ... lu tunjuk lupunya lanchiau..!!#$%!&

Ali: Abis... lu tadak percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau... Saya tanya pasal itu nasi-onal car... Potong Zaka.. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul-betul la....kasi susah saja. Bukan potong zaka la....Proton Saga lah.

Plastic surgery....

As the world evolves, people are not contented by the way they look, how they smell and how they dress. And in a dog eats dog world, everyone seemed to be competing with each other on just about everything.

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Facelifts are common nowadays. Plastic surgery is so cheap in some parts of the world, that you'd want to change your whole body, top to toe......take Michael Jackson for instance. All I can remember of him from the past is his shrieking voice and dance "crotch hugging" style. Why would one want to go through so much pain and agony just to be beautiful when you are actually made perfect in God's sight. Months and month of agonizing sleepless nights and torture.....I wonder.

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Now, I would like to share a joke on this. Take time to read and have a good laugh.

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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

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God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

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Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

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Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

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Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years to live? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

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And God replied, "Oh......I didn't recognize you"