Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The things that you do for love.

Usually, when driving around town, I would usually hold Rachel hands. Most of the time I would say, "Where's your hand?" and she would immediately take her hands to my lips for a kiss and vice versa. It's like a remote. This morning was particularly funny. Instead of me holding her hands, she held mine. Pecking here and there. And then all of a sudden, she bite me. Not hard enough for me to scream, but I was little suprised. And then I asked her "What was that for?"......then she answered "I Love You mah"......then we laughed.
How bout you? Would you bite your spouses as a gesture of love? :)
People often say, action speaks louder than words. Talk-talk, no do-do. But I say, actions and words are equally important. Most Asians do not normally express our love verbally to our loved ones. Maybe its because of our upbringing. We are ego-istic people. Once you utter the word "love"...... very paiseh. Not macho, for the men.
I am very fortunate that my family is very close to each other. We would greet each other in the mornings and kiss my mum before going to work. We would say "I love you" as often as we can. Rachel, on the other hand was brought up in a typical Chinese family. She has yet to hear a word of I love you from her family. Malu wor....When Rachel was introduced to my family, I made her do her worst nightmare....saying I LOVE YOU to my family members. To add to the salt, I had her kiss my mum. At first, she felt awkward. Then as time flies, she felt that kissing and saying the 3 words I Love You in a family is easy. And now, it's spontaneous.
During my wedding dinner, I had a session when both Rachel and I gave both our mothers a bouquet of flowers, just to say thank you for raising us up to where we are today. Rachel gave to my mum and of course I gave to my mother in law. And as usual, we kissed our mums. I felt that my mother in law froze and shivered...hahaha.
Anyways, it is always good to express our love both verbally and by our actions. We may not see the goodness and benefit now. But treat it like an investment. The dividends would surely come. It changes people, it changed Rachel and it surely changed mine.

24 comments:

eugene said...

ok,bro,let go mabukking tonite because Obama is the president now.

By the way,never bite my wife to say "i love you mah", will do that sound cool and spicy though.

say hi to Rachel for me will you?

Calvin Soo KJ said...

eugene, sure thing bro. cheers

cleffairy said...

*groan* Don't get me started on the 'typical Chinese family thingie', I think my husband is raised in one. *groan* The outlaws keep each other at one kilometre radius while for me, my mom would crush me into a hug whenever she meets me. LOL. I become flat pancake when I meet her, I tell you.

Now, I must say, love does bite...sometimes. Ahahaha ermm... at least for me, it does. I do bite... wHAhahaha... not really bite, but hickies. LOL... very fun to be able to put a 'label' to what's mine. But of course, the labeling would be in places that can't really be seen. LMAO.

Aiyo, Eugene, ajak me la... i'm celebrating the Americans being colour blind too! :-D

suituapui said...

Very sad that many Asians/Chinese are not expressive of their affection. On the other hand, the westerners are over-expressive and what's worse, they may not mean it at all.

Kikey Loo said...

yes, i agree with you. I learn this after i came to US. American always say I Love You to each other in the family, also hugs and kisses!

So I started to say I Love You to my parents when I talking to them on the phone before i hang up. They always feel paiseh, and just smile.

Josephine said...

:(
I feel very sad after read this post.
I miss my dear, mama, and papa very much!

Josephine! One more day to go. You can go back to KL d.

Calvin Soo KJ said...

clef, labelling your hubby makes him sound like a cow...hahaha. sorry, just joking. hickies are no-no for me. wouldnt want to have black marks all over my body...lol. ive seen before youngsters with hickies all over their necks and they proudly display them by wearing spaghetti straps. youngsters these days....

stp, we should not over do it. random i love yous should be sufficient.

kikey, good for you. you'll notice the bond that ties a family together would be much much stronger.

jo, not forgetting your dear. is he working in singapore with you?

Malaysian Joe said...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Gosh... why are we going mushy mushy? My wife and I ah? our gesture of love? we poke and fondle each other... :o!

Calvin Soo KJ said...

mjoe, fondling all the time or at certain occasions only...lol

PerutBesi said...

Bro!! Interesting post! So true that we Asians rarely express our love in an open manner lor...saying "I Love You" is a paise thing *sigh* I dun wanna be a typical Asian!! *rofl*

Calvin Soo KJ said...

ruth, have to start saying i love you to your family 1st, then your bf lor....hahaha. like it or not, we are typical cina apek...lmao

Chris said...

Yeah, asian r a bit shy when they express their feeling...

garfield said...

i believe, using actions to express our feelings is more practical...

talk a lot also useless, coz who also can talk.

but action means more, actions can't be replace by just talking.

so expressing feeling via actions is more practical...

RESIDENT.WANGSAMAJU said...

Yes Mat Salleh is quite expressive. The problem is sometimes the kissing don't stop with their spouses...huhuhu.

Pete said...

A little love and hugs sure go a long way! Good post!

cleffairy said...

Calvin,Malaysia alot of typical apek...ahahaha... but looks like one of is is definitely not apek... Kevin... walao....poke and fondle each other ahh? Bahaya ohhh...LMAO.

Malaysian Joe said...

Bro... all the time... everywhere.... of course when nobody is around.. LOL...

Thats beside the point. I think the important thing is to keep the flame of interest going and it is a tough job as over time, it gets weary but still its something that you work on for the rest of your life together.

Calvin Soo KJ said...

chris, how about yourself? :)

garfield, hahaha. you the man!!!

residentwm, cant be kissing like mat sallehs. nanti kena tangkap under i.s.a. lol

pete, xoxo me to you too :P

clef, ahem. why dont you try to spice things up a lil bit tonite....lmao

mjoe, bro. you can be my shrink or my sex doctor...hahaha. free can ah?

Calvin Soo KJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Malaysian Joe said...

calvin.. watched the show? Love Guru?

on your question ah... Can la.. if you want PCK type of advise..

Calvin Soo KJ said...

mjoe, he's my idol. trying to match to words to make into one, like the ones he used...hehehehe.

PerutBesi said...

Bro! Sure la start with family :D Thank God my family's quite open to such things...my dad practices such 'culture'...& so does my bf...I love u, bro! Hahaha... XD

Marsha M said...

I do BOTH....as in I say 'I love you' AND BITE!!! But I have a habit of biting asses! :-) my kids lah!! hee hee hee...definitely not my mother, father, bro or sister lah...

Roses said...

*save* for future reference...

if i bite, i make sure i bite hard so that the scars will be there for others girls to stay off my man..

but of course, at times due to family upbringing, it's quite hard to mutter "love" to spouses....i guess time can shake the paiseh-ness off, no?