Questions & Answers!!

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'SUCK HERE'.

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

BONUS QUESTION & ANSWER:
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

(Nominated as the world's best short joke)
3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.

No more headaches.....

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."


"No more headaches?" the husband asks,
''What happened?"


His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.."

It Worked! The headaches are all gone."


The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."


His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.


He puts her on the bed and says,

"Don't move, I'll be right back."


He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.


His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"


The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom,
comes back and round two was even better than The First time.


The wife sits up and her head is spinning.


Her husband again says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife..."

His funeral service will be held on Friday.

Anuar & Ella Wedding Images

Hiya folks

This will be one quickie wedding post. Anuar & Ella (no....not the rocker lady!!) got wed last weekend, and I was thrilled to be the official photographer. Both of them fell in love whilst working in the same company....which is actually a Golf Course in Kuantan. We had this idea of taking some shots at the golf course, using a Driver and a golf ball as the props. It was a pretty simple wedding without much hassle. Both Anuar and Ella were so accomodating and were so eager to pose for me. I had so much fun during the session. To both Anuar & Ella, congratulations again :)

Kampung Beserah Photoshoot

This was an outing organized by my studio in Kuantan. And for the benefit of every new readers, just a little background of my studio. Located right in the middle of Kuantan town, we (my partners and I) named our humble little studio Silhouette (pronounced as Si-lu-et) Studio & Gallery. Officially launched last October 2009, we specialize in weddings and portraiture. We also cover bits and pieces of commercial and modelling shoots every now and then.

Okay....and now to the agenda at hand. Kampung Beserah is a fishing village located north of Kuantan and is approximately 5-6km from town. Living in Kuantan for the past 33 years of my life, I have not heard of this location before.....which in reality means, I have to get out more :P

To tell you the truth, I am and still not into locally produced movies, be it Malay or Chinese movies or dramas. My wife had been bugging me to get a hold of this local movie entitled "Woo-Hoo!!" I have to seriously give credit to the director and actors that made this movie interesting to watch. A typical Malaysian scene with loads of laughter and family values. Adding to the mix of our multi-lingual community, the movie was filmed almost entirely in Kampung Beserah with bits and pieces of scenes shot in Kuala Lumpur. Right after the watching the movie, I told my partners that we MUST organize a photoshoot at thiss beautiful stretch of beach.

So without wasting anymore of your precious time reading my draggy post, here are some of my images. The models were Maykuan (Ms Pahang Tourism finalist) and Mish Miela (one of my buddy's soon to be wife). Will definitely shoot here again for my next pre-wedding assignments :)

Teluk Cempedak Model Shoot

Hi guys......phew!! Wud a hectic week. Working in 2 different shifts at the same time is killing me. Besides looking for potential investors for the bank,, I had to solicit for wedding jobs as well. No time for myself and the mrs nowadays, and I think I have to sort my priorities straight. All work and no fun makes "The Mrs" a very depressed and lonely wife. So, I have decided to at least have a day's out for ourselves once a week and a holiday out of Kuantan, once every 2-3 months, which I think is do-able. I'll have more time to spend with her should I quit my current job as a "miserable kuli'.

We did another fun outing, this time in Teluk Cempedak with 2 models. Polin has limited experience but Shine Leong had none. A good photographer would be able to teach and guide his/her model how to pose and capture the exact angle to enhance the models' features. Here are some examples that were captured during the shooting.

Pre CNY Photoshoot

This was a last minute thingy. Since we hardly had time to organize any new outing for the club, the guys and I decided to head over to Sg Lembing for a photoshoot. These are random favourites of mine to share with you.

And last but not least, Have A Very Happy Chinese New Year!! :)

.........and the last 3 images are dedicated to my lovely wife Rachel for always being there supporting me. You're my backbone and my O2. Without you my life will not be complete.

Model profile - Fatin

January has been a challenging month. With new crazy targets given and daily teleconferencing, it was horrendous. Nevertheless, life goes on. With my photography, I was able to keep myself sane, at least for a while.

Last week, we had another model profile shoot. Fatin was introduced to me by one of my bank customer. It turned out that Fatin was of Malay and Hindustani heritage. A couple of her poses were very Bollywood styled and she looked very much like a Hindustani actress. Love her eyes and features. Her poses were a tad stiff coz modelling is kinda new to her. But with coaching and exposure, I'm sure she'll steal away the crowd with her beautiful looks. Needless to say, her portraits were some of my favourite so far. Enuff with the talking, now on to her pictures :) Enjoy.....

A.A.A.D.D......A new disease??

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

On the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox

When I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,

And see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

So I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,

But first I need to push the Coke aside

So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,

And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

A vase of flowers on the counter

Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and

Discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it,

But first I'll check my e-mail........

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

The real dick-tionary.....

It is time now class to learn the actual meaning of some really confusing English words. Let us now begin..............

Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper, with fire at one end and a fool at the other

Marriage - It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree while a woman gains her Master

Lecture - An art of transmitting information from notes of students without passing thru the minds of either

Conference - A confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he/she has got the biggest piece

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary - Its a place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference room - Its a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic - A book which people praise, but never read

Smile - A curve that could set a lot of things straight

Office - A place where you can rest and relax after having a strenuous home life

Yawn - The only time where some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc.. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience - The name men give to their mistakes

Atom bomb - An invention to bring an end to all inventions

Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!!"

Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the 1st letter in

OPPORTUNITY

Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father - A banker provided by nature

Criminal - A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

Boss - Someone who is early when you're late, and late when you're early

Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later

Doctor - A person who kills your ills, and kills you by your bills

Nurul & Ika

We were busy gathering as many in house models as we can for this month. All this while, we managed to gather around 6 models, all of which are Chinese. But what if our customers require Malay models? Spray paint their bodies into golden brown? But since our typical Chinese feature has "mata-sepet" instead of "mata-kucing", it will be kinda hard to bluff em, dun you think? So, searching long and hard, perspiring blood instead of sweat, we managed to recruit 2 Malay cuties namely, Nurul and Ika (we can also call her Ikea....lolz). Although they are newbies, but I bet many of our customers would want them on their catalogues.

So, lo and behold...........

.......and of course, my darling Rachel was their makeup artist :)