Blessings in marriage

Now, some of you may be contemplating the pros and cons in marriage. Some may say, "Why bother....I'm satisfied with what I have now. I'm free, no one's bugging me, I do what I want.....so what the heck!! Why commit yourself to one person when I can have many more to come". These were the answers I got from a friend who is now 35, unmarried. He has all the 5 Cs and a couple more Cs to add. Lisa once discussed this topic in Blogger United's lounge, "Do you believe that marriage is an achievement in life?".....my answer is a solid YES!!!

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To some, marriage is too complicated and challenging. While some recognize that family life tied for the lifetime between a man and a woman is a good thing, it still is widely regarded as too hard in practice. Why does one regard marriage as "too hard" to commit when men could brave through storms, and risk their lives to climb Mount Everest or plunge into deep seas and prove that they could hold their breath the longest. The thrill? The adrenaline rush?

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I was once that fellow who does not believe in marriage. I made jokes about marriage, mocked those who were getting married and criticized those who were married. Why all the fuss?? What's so special about marriage? Wedding vows??? Gimme a break. Vows were meant to be broken. What happens if you suddenly felt that the person you're married with for the last 10 years was not "the" one and you wished you didn't say "I DO"? So many questionss, so little answers.

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For many, there are too many rules in marriage. You can't do this, you can't do that. You can't have this, you shan't have that. Who made these rules anyway?? God?? My answer is this. God did not put rules in marriage. Men did. God gave us brains to think and set us apart from the animals. Are there secrets to a happy marriage. The answer is a simple no. The simple truth is that there is no universal secret. There are no manuals or standardized set of governing rules set in place to ensure and happy and successful marriage. The solid, simple truth is.....your marriage is what you make it, and any rules governing your behaviours should be determined by you and your spouse.

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But of course, some simple common sense that needs to be invoked are like honesty, no cheating etc etc etc.....

"A large problem I see with the concept of marriage is the actual meaning of marriage as shared by much of the population. Too many view the ritual of marriage as a form of success and status that must be attained by a certain age, thereafter followed by children as the next logical step. Many of you have undoubtedly uttered to yourself or to acquaintances that you will soon be a certain age, so perhaps it is time to get married soon." - Scott Kessman

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And if this is your logical explanation to get married, then you're getting married for the wrong reasons. Marriage is all about strengtening that bond of love you had, to go the extra mile, to pledge your one self to that special person wholly who feels the same way towards you. One should not be seeking marriage, one should be seeking someone to love and later on follow by marriage. Many of my bachelor friends, like me before jokes that I will be in prison for my lifetime, not able to go out together for our drinking sessions, and that my life will end in bitterness.

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I say this, pity for them, for they are trapped in their tiny weeny small minds and in their own small world. I have been married not too long ago. I wouldn't say that my marriage is successful until the day I die. Yes, there are ups and downs, quarrels, bitterness, rants here and there.....but all these contributes to having a better marriage. We learn from each others' mistakes, we console each other when either one is down, we encourage each other and most importantly, we pray for each other all the time.

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Communication is a major key in a successful marriage, and it must be made at a very early point what you'd expect from the relationship. Together, you can best determine what rules, if any, that need to be applied in the relationship, and how you can co-exist happily and successfully, in love, while remaining respectful of each other's wishes.