It is time now class to learn the actual meaning of some really confusing English words. Let us now begin..............
Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper, with fire at one end and a fool at the other
Marriage - It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree while a woman gains her Master
Lecture - An art of transmitting information from notes of students without passing thru the minds of either
Conference - A confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he/she has got the biggest piece
Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power
Dictionary - Its a place where divorce comes before marriage
Conference room - Its a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
Classic - A book which people praise, but never read
Smile - A curve that could set a lot of things straight
Office - A place where you can rest and relax after having a strenuous home life
Yawn - The only time where some married men ever get to open their mouth
Etc.. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Committee - Individuals who can do nothing and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Experience - The name men give to their mistakes
Atom bomb - An invention to bring an end to all inventions
Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!!"
Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the 1st letter in
OPPORTUNITY
Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
Father - A banker provided by nature
Criminal - A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
Boss - Someone who is early when you're late, and late when you're early
Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later
Doctor - A person who kills your ills, and kills you by your bills
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