Thursday, January 21, 2010

The real dick-tionary.....

It is time now class to learn the actual meaning of some really confusing English words. Let us now begin..............

Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper, with fire at one end and a fool at the other

Marriage - It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree while a woman gains her Master

Lecture - An art of transmitting information from notes of students without passing thru the minds of either

Conference - A confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he/she has got the biggest piece

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary - Its a place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference room - Its a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic - A book which people praise, but never read

Smile - A curve that could set a lot of things straight

Office - A place where you can rest and relax after having a strenuous home life

Yawn - The only time where some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc.. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience - The name men give to their mistakes

Atom bomb - An invention to bring an end to all inventions

Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!!"

Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the 1st letter in
OPPORTUNITY

Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father - A banker provided by nature

Criminal - A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

Boss - Someone who is early when you're late, and late when you're early

Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later

Doctor - A person who kills your ills, and kills you by your bills

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