Jokes....and summore jokes 18SX

It's Monday.....and I'm hating it. But just to make my day better, here are some jokes to share :-

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

*****

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies.

"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins."

*****

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

*****

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

LYNAS Rare earth production in Gebeng, Kuantan

I'm not sure if this has been passed down to the citizens of Malaysia, amidst the Sarawak elections which was the main agenda.

For the past few weeks, the people of Kuantan stood up and raised their concern over the construction of a RARE earth production facility in Gebeng Industrial Estate, Kuantan (approx 30km from Kuantan town). About 2 years ago, the Pahang government approved the project by LYNAS Corp, Australia to construct the facility. Little did we know of its consequences. Little did we know that this facility will be creating a mass dump site of radioactive waste at the back of our homes.

Just some background on RARE earth materials (I'm no chemist, but these are some of what I've gathered) :-

1. RARE earth materials are rare....(duh!). And it can only be found on limited parts of the world (it I'm not mistaken, I've read somewhere that there are only 3 locations in the world).

2. It is used in the making of iPhone, bombs, hybrid cars etc...

3. Currently, China donimates (in fact, they are the only ones!) the production of the materials coz no other countries would want it at their backyards....and that includes Australia.

Malaysia's last RARE earth project in Bukit Merah, the Asian Rare Earth (ARE) plant was a warning to us (that was back in the 1980s). Nearly 20 years since it was shut downed, till todate the site is still being cleaned up at a cost of over RM300m and has been linked to at least 8 cases of leukemia, 7 resulting in death. Have we not learned from the past?

LYNAS is claiming that the thorium (the radioactive element found in virtually all rare earth deposits) produced now is really really low. So much lower than that of Bukit Merah. Hence, there will be a low risk of high radiation exposure. But there's a saying that goes "Sikit-sikit, lama- lama jadi bukit". If you're exposed, it means you're exposed. Little or not does not matter. And if you're exposed for a very long time, chances are you are facing a high level of radiation. What say you?

And therefore, I am 100% against it. For my future, for my family's future, for my generations to come. I wouldn't want a miniature "Hulk" as my baby, now would I? So please do support our cause, the people of Kuantan's cause. You can click here to join in our group through Facebook.

Adios amigos!!

Blog Revival!!!

So, its decided that my blog be revived to its former glory. I've been receiving many comments through my emails and FB messages on what the heck happened to this Ah Beng these past few months. Some made assumptions that I am dead, some thought I've changed sex, some said I've lost my way around the world and some still communicates with me through Facebook.

So, let me start the ball rolling by posting this "true" letter to all my beloved blogger buddies. Enjoy :)

ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA .
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL REPLY IN PUNJABI ENGLISH


Madam :

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely and easily.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my balls because they bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy and I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking cigarettes or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hands.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,------------------
born by mother in Okara
and become big in Lahore ,
Punjab

Baby Portrait - Giselle Heidi Surin

Giselle is one of my photog buddy's daughter, Vincent Albert Surin. Funny name huh?...He's a Portugese Chinese and a mighty handsome dude. His wife, Felicia is also one beautiful lady. And Giselle certainly followed their traits.

This was taken when the guys and I had breakfast last Saturday at our usual hangout ie Oldtown Kopitiam which is situated only a stone's throw away from my studio. Shooting Giselle is not an easy task. But then again, shooting any baby portraiture needs a lot of patience and a lot of hard work. The result, extremely happy for my 1st baby shoot.

Pre-wed Sneak Peek

Lately, it seems having only 24 hours in a day is insufficient. God should've made an extra 5-6 hours extra in a day so that I could finish up my post production. I'm near to exhaustion. And I'm short of words to blog. Neways, here's a sneak peek of a pre-wed shoot a couple of weeks ago. Will post more when the couple gives me the green light.

Polin @ Silhouette Studio & Gallery (Set 3)

Not going to talk much here. But I am so totally hooked on the beauty dish I used on my studio's strobes. The model we engaged was Polin. The last time we shot her was about 2 months ago. Since the last shooting, Polin did improve tremendously. Enuff said, enjoy :)

Silhouette Studio & Gallery 2nd Outing @ Pantai Beserah

This was a tiring week. Loads and loads of office work, and not one photography job for the last 2 weeks. But alas, my partner Steve managed to contact 4 models and we hired them to model for us last weekend. And when it comes to photography, I am myself again.....putting back all my worries and stress from work behind. Here are some of my favourite shots of the day.

1st up is Peggy Yong. We hired her before for the studios runway show last October. She never fail to impress me with her poses.

Next is Jane Kwan aka Banana. Not sure why the girls call her that. Jane has what it takes to be a successful model. Love her facial expression.

Our 3rd model is Sue San Kok. She's rather new to the industry. But she has excellent curves and feature. One of my favourite as well.... :)

And last but not least is Joanne Ng. She has that cute Japanese innocent look that most men would die for....the Kawaii look :P

Some behind the scenes shots.....everyone was so eager to take a shot at the models. And the outing was a success. Kudos to the hard work and dedication of the Silhouette Studio team, models and photogs who were there to support us.

And last but not least.....the four models together.

Model Shoot - Evon Tan

We were waiting anxiously for Evon to arrive from KL. For those who are unfamiliar, Evon Tan is the up and coming model superstar in the photography world. She has graced some poses for Louis Pang (the master of wedding photography), posed for Joe McNally (the God of photography) who mentioned live on 8TV's Breakfast Show that she is one of the best model he had ever worked with (his career spans over 2 decades) and tonnes more. And we had the privilege to work with her last weekend.

We hardly had the chance to shoot one on one with a professional model before this, and having worked with Evon is the next best thing after my lovely wife, Rachel (see honey, you're still no. 1 in my heart). Shots after shots, Evon never failed to strike a different set of pose. She posed so much faster than the click of our cameras. We had about 3 hours of studio session and another 2 hours outdoor at the beach. We had so much fun even though we were sweating from head to toe under the hot, late afternoon sun. I'll be posting some of my personal favourites, but if you wanna view more, feel free to browse thru my flickr page. Enjoy :)

Model Photoshoot

Another week's assignment for an outdoor model profile shoot. Honeey Kui is relatively very new to modelling. She has very minimal exposure on the catwalks and her poses are still very stiff. However, she has the potential to be a successful model. She's so eager to learn and listen to instructions and directions from the photographer. At the end of the day, I was happy that I managed to get a number of shots to my liking, and most importantly, the model likes it too. So here are some of my shots.....

Before & After Portraiture Shots

Many of my fellow photogs did ask me this question. Why portraiture? Why does a structure of the human bone fascinates me? Easy question to understand, but hard for me to explain, personally. Let me just put it this way......you can imitate a structure of a building, you can imitate and build a landscape, but you can never imitate the bone structure of a human being or its character. One may undergo the excrutiating pain in plastic surgery and look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but you can never be Brad Pitt or AJ. Each one of us are unique in our own way. That is what I like to capture. The person and his or her character will be reflected on print, and it can be cherished for a lifetime.

Post processing...... as to whether one should or should not enhance a picture, is for each individual photographer's own choice. Personally, there is no right or wrong to this issue. The most important thing is, so long your customer gives the thumbs up, then you're doing your job right. Let me end here with this before and after shots processed using on Adobe's Lightroom 2 software. Cheers and happy weekend :)