Blog Revival!!!

So, its decided that my blog be revived to its former glory. I've been receiving many comments through my emails and FB messages on what the heck happened to this Ah Beng these past few months. Some made assumptions that I am dead, some thought I've changed sex, some said I've lost my way around the world and some still communicates with me through Facebook.

So, let me start the ball rolling by posting this "true" letter to all my beloved blogger buddies. Enjoy :)

ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA .
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL REPLY IN PUNJABI ENGLISH


Madam :

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely and easily.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my balls because they bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy and I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking cigarettes or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hands.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,------------------
born by mother in Okara
and become big in Lahore ,
Punjab