Thursday, January 28, 2010

A.A.A.D.D......A new disease??

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:


I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.


As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.


I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.


I lay my car keys on the table,

Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

And notice that the can is full.


So, I decide to put the bills back

On the table and take out the garbage first.


But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox

When I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.


I take my cheque book off the table,

And see that there is only one cheque left.


My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

So I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.


I'm going to look for my cheques,

But first I need to push the Coke aside

So that I don't accidentally knock it over.


The Coke is getting warm,

And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.


As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

A vase of flowers on the counter

Catches my eye--they need water.


I put the Coke on the counter and

Discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.


I decide I better put them back on my desk,

But first I'm going to water the flowers.


I set the glasses back down on the counter,

Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

But first I'll water the flowers.


I pour some water in the flowers,

But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.


So, I set the remote back on the table,

Get some towels and wipe up the spill.


Then, I head down the hall trying to

Remember what I was planning to do.


At the end of the day:


The car isn't washed


The bills aren't paid


There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter


The flowers don't have enough water,


There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,


I can't find the remote,


I can't find my glasses,


And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.


Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

And I'm really tired.


I realize this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it,

But first I'll check my e-mail........


Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The real dick-tionary.....

It is time now class to learn the actual meaning of some really confusing English words. Let us now begin..............

Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper, with fire at one end and a fool at the other

Marriage - It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree while a woman gains her Master

Lecture - An art of transmitting information from notes of students without passing thru the minds of either

Conference - A confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he/she has got the biggest piece

Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary - Its a place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference room - Its a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic - A book which people praise, but never read

Smile - A curve that could set a lot of things straight

Office - A place where you can rest and relax after having a strenuous home life

Yawn - The only time where some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc.. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee - Individuals who can do nothing and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience - The name men give to their mistakes

Atom bomb - An invention to bring an end to all inventions

Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!!"

Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the 1st letter in
OPPORTUNITY

Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father - A banker provided by nature

Criminal - A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

Boss - Someone who is early when you're late, and late when you're early

Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later

Doctor - A person who kills your ills, and kills you by your bills

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Nurul & Ika

We were busy gathering as many in house models as we can for this month. All this while, we managed to gather around 6 models, all of which are Chinese. But what if our customers require Malay models? Spray paint their bodies into golden brown? But since our typical Chinese feature has "mata-sepet" instead of "mata-kucing", it will be kinda hard to bluff em, dun you think? So, searching long and hard, perspiring blood instead of sweat, we managed to recruit 2 Malay cuties namely, Nurul and Ika (we can also call her Ikea....lolz). Although they are newbies, but I bet many of our customers would want them on their catalogues.

So, lo and behold...........



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.......and of course, my darling Rachel was their makeup artist :)

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Model Profile - Maykuan Chiang

Another one of our model profile shoot. This time round, we had the privileage to take some snaps from one of the finalist of our Ms Pahang Tourism 2008, fourth runner up...Ms Maykuan Chiang. Altogether, we managed to acquire 6 in house models for our commercial jobs as well as our classes. Do give comments on my pictures :)



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