Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My nightmare...

From my previous posts, before the "betul-betul kanasai" one, i posted about Rachel's food poisoning encounter just about a week ago. Last Friday (22-08-2008), Rach got me pissed in my pants, yet again. For the last few days, Rach was hospitalized with appendicitis.All this while, it was not food poisoning. The clinic doc did not check her throughly......wth!!!
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I was supposed to go to KL for a meeting on Sunday till Thurday, as well as to meet my blog buddy Pete for dinner.....*drools*. But God, in His miraculous ways, revealed that Rach had appendicitis 2 weeks before her trip to Taiwan.
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We went to our local GH and I was really, really, really pissed with their service. Firstly, when I patiently queued to be registered...which took me 1/2 hour, and there were only 2 patients in line. My wife was crying in pain, vomitted several times and that shitty attendant ate keropok....right in front of us. I almost punched him in the face....really!! This was our conversation
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(after waiting in line for 1/2 hour)
Me : Hello encik! Isteri saya sakit lar...boleh cepat sikit tak?
AH (asshole) : Nanti dulu. Tak nampak saya sibuk kah? Tunggu lar!!!
Me : Saya sudah tunggu 1/2 jam. You tak nampak kah.
AH : 1/2 jam tak lama. Orang lain tunggu 1 jam (right after he said it, he went to eat keropok)
Me : Woi!! Celaka!! You apa nama? You nak saya complain nama you ke....you berani makan depan saya? Bloody bastard!!! (I took out my pen and paper to jot down his name and he suddenly felt that I was not joking)
AH : Ok, Ok......nanti dulu. Saya main-main saja.
Me : Orang sudah sakit macam ni, nko ingat saya main-main. You bodoh ke apa?
AH : Ok, Ok......(then he took out the red registration form and hurriedly completed it)...Ok sudah ok. You tunggu kat sana (pointing at the waiting room), missy akan check pressure.
Me : Woi!!! Nko nak aku tunggu lagi ke? Isteri saya sudah muntah2, nko nak saya tunggu lagi
AH : Terpaksa lah boss....I takde kuasa nak bagi you potong q.
(then without another word I pushed Rach to the queue line whilst grumbling).
The people there consoled me and even helped me to persuade the AH to allow Rach to jump queue. After checking her pulse and blood pressure, I had to wait for another 1 hour to see the doctor. Rach was vomitting and cannot even stand. She was in terrible pain and I was afraid that she might even go into shock. My mum was there and advised me to hurry to the specialist....which i shouldve done much earlier...stupid me.
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So, stupid me drove like crazy to the specialist centre located near our Tunas Manja Supermarket Transit Point called Hospital Pakar KCDC...(dunno what it stands for). The nurse hurriedly pushed her to the A&E room for a scan. She pressed her abdomen to check where it pains the most and found that it was at her lower right of her stomach. The doctor came to double checked and confirmed 90% that it was appendicitis. They had her blood and urine checked as well. That was at about 5.30pm. The specialist, Dr Tan confirmed that an operation is needed at 6.30pm. Rach was still in great pain btw. They made the preparations and Rach went in for surgery. I was still in a panicked state but the doctor said that it was only a minor op, and there's nothing to worry about. How can i not worry? In any operation, minor or not, there still is a 50/50 chance of something bad to happen. I prayed to God the whole time. At about 7.20pm, the doctor confirmed that it was a succesful op and Rach is fine.
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Rach after the operation...notice the small "bantal busuk" that Rach had to have...lol

This damn machine always makes me jump when there's a funny sound.
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Rach was in KCDC for 4 days. We discharged yesterday morning, and guess how much was the bill like......RM8K++. Overall, I was impressed with their hospitality and service. "5" star service. My mom in law complained that the bill was too expensive, and I told her that money can find sum more, but a life....never. Rach did not have an insurance policy, I told her to cancel her old one as there was not much benefit. I submitted her new application to Prudential in the morning of her ordeal.....really no luck at all. So i had to fork out the amount by cash. I could claim thru the bank but only a maximum of RM4.5K. Better some than none.
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Rach is feeling much better now, she's eating and walking. She even joked about her operation. She can laugh, she can smile.....and now she can "berak" comfortably....hahaha. And now, I can sleep.......Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers. A special thanks to God for His protection and blessings, our church members; Pastor and family, Francis and family, Ruth (who was in Kuantan last weekend), Lee, Ai Lean, Siew Ching, Jessel and family, my colleagues, Rach's colleagues, Pete for smsing me (hehehe) Rach's family and my family, for their love, support and prayers. May God adds His blessing upon you and brings you peace.....God Bless!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Betul betul kanasai !!!


NAH!!!!!


"As the Minister of Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage, we should be instilling good culture in the young but here we are allowing other parties to organise things," Shafie Apdal said Wednesday after launching the IDeAS for enhancing Integrity book.
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Is he using his brains before saying this publicly. Is he saying Avril has a bad influence on our youths? Hey, come on!!! Wake up!!!
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Asked if he knew why they had promoted the concert before it was approved, he said he did not know. Asked if the Ministry's decision was in response to PAS Youth's call for cancellation, he said "no."
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What do they know? CRAPS !!! If I'm not mistaken, Avril's concert and adverts promos has been done since July. Did you not see the papers? Your head is stuck between your ass crack isit? You cant stand up for yourself and the ministry when PAS's pressure cooker burst? No balls !!!! If you wanna cancel the concert, even before they protest, you shouldve done it already!!!
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Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Shafie Apdal said that the concert falls during the nation's independence period and was not a suitable time to hold such a concert.
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quote..."Yes,there will be a lot of programs to celebrate the Merdeka Day but can't the concert and those programs which always seem to be same every year being organised in the same day. Why the Minister say the concert being organised in the not suitable time? Even this month is Merdeka Month, it nothing to do with the concert. The government can even use this chance to enhance the so called love our country spirit during the concert. I do love Malaysia even i am watching the concert" unquote...taken from the citizen's blog (the star online) - posted by jng1118.
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This is clearly an indication that our once most beloved nation's leaders are still living in the "Stone Age" era. Dissapointed fans will be cursing their arse off. After this stint, do you really think Avril would want to come back to Malaysia for her promos. Or for that matter, any other foreign celebrities?? What is the meaning of "MERDEKA" ......FREEDOM, you twits!!! Here's to you govt people......*extends middle finger*...NAAHHHHHH!!! $!%&!!@

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

More backyard nursery rhymes...

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun
Jack got mad, kicked Jill in the ass
'cause the b*tch couldnt make him c*m

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone,
and when she bent over
Rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own...
(to the tune of Popeye the Sailorman)

I'm Popeye the Sailorman
I live in a caracan
with a hole in the middle
where I do my piddle
I'm Popeye the Sailorman


(this one's a 'lil bit dirty...for adults only :P)
Mary had a little skirt
which splits right up the side
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thigh
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her ......
(this one you figure out for urselves...lol)
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Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black as charcoal
and every time she stroked it
sparks flew out its arsehole

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Football fever is back!!

The all new Chelsea FC Away Jersey.....gonna grab this one today!!!
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To all Chelsea FC's football fanatics out there...football fever is back. And Chelsea's back stronger than ever trashing Portsmouth 4-0. And this is for starters y'all......yuhoo!!! End with all our Malaysian political craps....at least for a while. Their new signing are Bosingwa (FC Porto), Deco (Barcelona), Di Santo (Audux Italiano La Florida) and last but not least Scott Sinclair (promoted to 1st squad). And fyi, the ladies Chelsea squad triumphed over Liverpool 5-0.
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BIG DADDY SAYS : ....Manchester United SUX!! WUUHOOOO!!!...hehehe.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Food poisoning

I was looking forward to spend time with my wife and family during the weekends. But God had it planned otherwise. Rachel started her new work last Friday. She was all happy and jolly in the morning but ended up in the clinic later in the evening.
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I called Rach during lunch just to check out whether her colleagues treated her right. It turns out, she was the "tai-ka-cheh" as the other girls there were all new in the business. Everything went well until later in the evening about 5.30pm, I received her call..."Dear, I sakit perut lar". My usual answer would be "Then go and berak lor...", she replied "I muntah 3 times already wor....sum more cirit-birit more than 4 times". "HAH!!!!! Pack up your things. I'm coming to fetch you now!!". Rach has a strong character and she does not cry often. But she was crying in the car. I cannot imagine the pain she had to suffer, waiting in the jam to get to the clinic. It took us almost 20 minutes to the clinic. The doctor confirmed that it was food poisoning. So, he prescribed some medications and we went home.
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At home, Rach vomited for a few more times. She cant eat, she can sleep, her tummy was inside out, she kentut..(and damn, it was really, really, really smelly...lol), she burped for like every minute and vomitted everything I gave her. I was so helpless and wanted to cry. The doc said that she is not to have any solid food but to feed her with biscuits and plain white bread. No milk, no milo, no coffee, no rice, not too much water, no to everything lah.
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But till Saturday night, Rach's condition did not improve. So we sought after a 2nd opinion. Rach was down with a fever. The doc advised us to check with the local GH or a specialist as he suspected an infection in the lower belly.
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At the hospital, a lady doctor prescribed several other medications and warned us that should Rach's condition worsened, she has to be admitted for further check ups. Any later would be fatal. My life was turned upside down, I panicked and I almost pissed in my pants. Thank God, Rach is feeling much better now. Pls pray for us....

Friday, August 15, 2008

This cannot, that cannot...kanasai!!!


Wassup PAS? Can't you even open your eyes and look around? Trying to blame a concert for all the illegal stuff that's been going around...Mat Rempits, Bohsias, Bohjans and all kinds of crap......if you want to talk about censorship and banning, look into our very own TV3 Sure Heboh lar.... not forgetting our local films involving Mat Rempit (KL Menjerit). You oso mesti ingat, mostly those involving in all those bohsias and bohjans come from your very own soil...Kelantan and Terengganu. Take care of your own house before trampling others.
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I just cannot imagine if PAS takes over our country. If you wanna strike away discos, karaokes and pubs, that's kinda acceptable. But concerts? Avril has got a good record man....Imagine us non-muslims watching Nasyid for concerts...!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My asshole hurts !!

The last 2 days was very uneventful. Yeah, no doubt i did close some major deals on Monday but just so you know....my asshole hurts. Yup!! You read it right. My asshole....
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I went to the panel clinic this morning (I developed quite a close relationship with the doc since last year after the bank approved his housing loan application), and struck a conversation with the doctor :-
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Calvin : Morning doc.
Doctor : Mornin'. Aiyo! You again ar...young man. What's wrong this time?
Calvin : What do you mean this time? I did not see you for like 6 months now....
Doctor : Oh...yakah. My bad. Err...so wassup?
Calvin : My backside pain lar doctor. 2 days oredy. Dun know how it happened.
Doctor : Come and let my look.....point to me where it hurts. *pointing* here ah? or here ah?
Calvin : Here lah doctor....*pointing to my ass crack on my left*
Doctor : How pain isit? Very pain or little pain or damn pain?
Calvin : Very pain when I try to stand up after sitting down, when I want to enter the car.
Doctor : *thinking*....errrr, dun mind me asking ah? how is your sex life?
Calvin : What????
Doctor : Your sex life lor.....you just married rite? Anything special that you did last few days?
Calvin : *scratching my head* Nothing special lor....just normal. But my wife got red flag wor...
So didnt do anything.
Doctor : *smiling* You both play anal ar?
Calvin : *shocked* No lar doctor.....you think my sex life like ham tai (porn) meh?
Doctor : Sure or not...*grinning*. Ok lah. I cannot check further. But I advise you to go for Xray.
Today can or not?
Calvin : Ok lar......you doctor mah
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And so i left with his recommendations to our local Kuantan Specialist Hospital and did my Xray. Thank god there was no fracture or broken bones or such....just some minor muscle pull. They gave me some pain killers and muscle relaxant. Before my ordeal, I cant help but wonder the feeling of someone sodomising you....and now I know. Don't try it at home...believe me, you wouldnt want to know.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Nursery rhymes we never had when we were kids...

Just got this from a colleague of mine. Please don't teach these to your children at home...lol

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two slices of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man, 'What have you got there?'
Said the Pie man unto Simon, 'Pies, you Dumb Ass'

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Watcha doing...???

Craps......damn rats. The rats ate my only bread this morning. My niece accidentally left the back door opened last nite and it crept in. So, all hell broke loose as I was trying to shoo it out....and this was while watching the olympics opening...*sigh* I missed Malaysia's march.
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I remember back in the old days (...why I sound so old ar??) when we kampung boys would gather to play football, bola "chap"and police n thief. I also remembered when one of my kampung buddies said that all the craps that we were playing were getting dull. So we invented a game called "The Fireballs". The game requires precise handling and skills that not many would dare to play. It was like a social experiment and we grew to like it......*grin* we are sick bastards.
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WHAT YOU NEED :-
1. Rat's trap
2. Kerosine
3. Matches or lighter....preferably matches
4. .....and of course, a rat
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HOW TO PLAY :-
1. Catch a rat...(not with your bare hands lar) in a regular rat's trap..the besi thingy
2. Gather your "The Fireballs" gang to your house's back lane....preferably with longkang one.
3. Pour kerosine on the rat
4. Light 'em up
5. Open the rat trap
6. Let the race begin.....
7. The winner is the one whose rat squeeled the loudest and cross the finish line.
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Yeah...i know. Damn lame and sick. What kinda person would torture animals and burn 'em up...(err...can call rats animals ah?) It sound kinda funny and we laughed about it when we were young. But as we got older, we began to despise ourselves for doing it. I'm not condoning my actions nor am I proud to say the least......but what has happened, happened. It was a very mean thing to do, I admit and will most certainly not do it again.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Its never enuff....

Hi y'all.
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I have had a very busy Thurs and Friday this week. My boss flew in from KL yesterday for a "meeting"...(actually to belebeh - jgn marah ye boss!!), and to "meet the customers in two days" day.
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Even though I'm dead tired, it has become a part of my life now to pen down some notes in my blog....damn!! I've become a bloggerholic......jengjengjeng **kapow**
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Well, my boss has been very professional about work, and ever since I've taken this new post, she has been very supportive and encouraging, even though my results were not at par as compared to my compatriots in the Klang Valley. "Calvin, take this positively because I have to say this.........for the management, it is NEVER enuff. You'll have to do more blahblahblah.. PROFIT PROFIT PROFIT". Yup!! In any business, whether you're in the food business, banking, insurance, supermarkets, hypermarkets, etc...., what you do is never enuff. I'm not blaming my boss, but hey!! her ass is also on the line.
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What say you......(can't wait for the 11th this month, Bigsweep results...hehehe).

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

LG Scarlet - The Scarlet Saga Continues


The weekly prizes.....LG Micro HiFi System FB163

GRAND PRIZE.....a 37" LG Scarlet LCD TV
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I would definitely lurv to have that darn thing in my room. Just imagine playing your PS3 on this beauty....magnificent. And of course some....ehem movies (*smirks* for "jantan" bonding). However, due to financial constraint, and having to eat biscuits and plain roti for breakfast, lunch and dinner, LG was kind enuff to run a contest for video enthusiasts to take part in directing your own short blips (pre-edited) for you guys to vote.....So, to you beeeaauuuutiful people out there (...kipas, kipas), all you gotto do is to vote for me here. Me win......i belanja makan !!!! yuhooooo!!!!
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The contest will be run for four (4) consecutive weeks and there will be a weekly gorgeous prizes for the Director that collects the most votes. There will also be a grand prize at the end of the contest. If you ain't the director type, you can also vote as a fan. Basically, all you have to do is to promote the videos you like on your website/blog/email. You'll get extra votes for registered users voting from your link. The more registered users you get, the higher your chances of winning. ME WANT TV !!! ME WANT TV !!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mr Specky Guy Tom Yam Seafood Restaurant

It was my 32nd birthday yesterday.....gosh, i'm really that old? (*sigh*) My family and I decided to head to one of Kuantan's famous chinese restaurant, Mr Specky Guy Tom Yam Seafood Restaurant. Why the name? No idea and i do not care.....all i know is that the food is scrumplicious....*licking fingers*. Primarily, the restaurant serves a variety of fresh seafood like crab, prawns, fresh water fish, lobsters and squids just to name a few. Since a part of my family are allergic to some kinda seafood....really kesian :( we only ordered 2 types of the sort which is lala and their "chew pai" crab.

From left : Little Nichol, naughty Phoebe, my sis, my bro in law, my aunt, my uncle, my mom and my darling Rachel.
Mun Taufu....smells delish.

Sweet n sour Pork....the usual, but the pork is a little crunchy

Kum Heong Lala...a little dissappointed with the lala. Hardly any meat....

Yin Choy.....cooked to perfection with anchovies.

Mai Yau Hai (Butter Crap).....the gravy was thick and rich. Absolutely irresistable.
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All in all, the dinner was fabulous. They owner was generous enuff to add a plate of Sang Yat mee for 5 persons and fruits. I didnt had the chance to take the photos as everyone was already digging into the plate. The total cost was about RM200-00 for 8 persons which is resonable. if you are looking for a reasonably priced good chinese cuisine to dine in Kuantan, this is the place to be.
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Mr Specky Guy Tom Yam Seafood Restaurant
B-1161 Jalan Beserah
25300 Kuantan
Pahang Darul Makmur
Phone No. : 09-5667181
Hp no. : 019-9867181
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Ratings :-
Presentation : 3.5/5
Quality : 4/5
Price : 4/5
Service : 4/5

Monday, August 4, 2008

Heboh kepala otak hang!!!

I was very much looking forward for time off with my wife this weekend. Rach was all alone at home for the whole week and I can tell from the look of her face that she was dead bored. So since we're movie addicts, we decided to watch The X Files and The Mummy Returns. Little did I know that TV3's Sure Heboh was in town.....(bloody baggers!!!)..
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Bloody hell!! Those baggers really shook up the town.......and if I may say this, Sure Heboh thingy mostly attracts the Malays, not many Chinese or Indians. They open up tents selling low quality products in the middle of town, giving away cheap stuff that you will not use and all this is smacked right under the hot Malaysian sun. I do not want to sound like a bloody racist......which I'm not, but the massive traffic jams caused by the Mat Rempits, child "gangster" wannabes and Proton "EVO" suckers, can really piss you off and I felt like giving "the finger" to each and everyone of them. I've also received word from my friends that youngsters actually turned themselves into Bohsias and Bohjans during the carnival because the police is sooooo damn busy directing the traffic. No wonder the Perak's muftis declared that the carnival as haram as it encourages vice and immoral activities.......(damn true man!!)
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The concept is ok..(for those who likes sun tanning in the afternoon!) but can't they bloody move their spot to the outskirts of town. I'm sure their so called fans would generously waste their petrol and money to go there.
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On Saturday, I was late for X Files because of the jam.......but even worse, the movie sucked. I have not been an X Files fan before and will never be. The plot, well to me there was no plot. You can see Mulder and Scully in bed together (didnt know when did that happen??), a pervert priest who has psychic abilities (he has tears of blood btw.....wow *smirks*), and a serial kidnapper who kills for body parts for his half dead brother professor (who has body parts from like....everybody). My verdict, better go watch Tom & Jerry.
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I've bought the tickets to The Mummy Returns much earlier for Sunday, anticipating the massive crowd of movie goers. Due to the bloody jam and all, Rach and I decided to go an hour earlier. But to our suprise, there wasn't a jam. I guess the Malay folks also fed up already.....As before, the movie was great. But I think Jet Li's career in Hollywood will not be as hot as Jackie's or even Chow Yuen Fatt's due to the language barrier...
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After the movie, I thought to myself...pls let there be no jam. And lo and behold!!! The bloody jam. This Sure Heboh roadshow has been slapping my ass cheeks for years now (and its already bloody red...you should've seen my face) and it was time for me to retaliate. I drove all the way to their site, opened up my window and shouted "SURE HEBOH ! SURE HEBOH !! HEBOH KEPALA OTAK HANG !!!"....